Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
