I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
