Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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