you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
