I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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