I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
