For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
