I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
