you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize