can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
