Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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