Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
