i think my tv is drunk
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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