pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
