I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
