We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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