We're like a lot better than the average bears
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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