I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
how drunk are you?
Several
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize