who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
