He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
