OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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