how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
