I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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