u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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