My hand turned me down
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need a beard to bite.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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