I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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