You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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