you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
