Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize