I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
