i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
