brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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