i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Green mimosas i think yes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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