i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize