I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
