That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i've created a new STD.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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