he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
