You made me cry and you don't even care
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
