she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
