just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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