at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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