i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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