your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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