I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
