K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
