I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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