the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
3 2 1 whiskey
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
