dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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