I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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