whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
