i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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