You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
