so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
