The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
