Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
