My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
